…SSBM Advertisements!
by joebthegreat
Summary: It was deleted! Now it's back! My parody of many different advertizements! Warning: I am pathetic... you will become pathetic if you read this. And this may be offensive!
1. Part 1!

_This was deleted by Fanfiction because they decided it was too offensive… screw them! I know there were some rated M parts though… so I got rid of some swearing and whatnot… some chapters are lost forever though… also know that these are making fun of advertisements that don't come on anymore… so BLEH!_

**ADVERTIZEMENTS SSBM STYLE!**

**PART 1:**

Disclaimer: If I own anything in this fan fiction I don't know about it yet

WOOT WOOT! I liked this one… it came to me In a moment of uninspired stupidity… (if someone else did this than I'm sorry cause I never remember reading one of these)

ICP!

* * *

PART 1! SPRITE!

Mario and Luigi were sitting on the roof of a very very very tall building.

"Ya know" Mario says. "I could go for a refreshing Sprite"

Luigi agreed and went inside to get the Sprite… little did he know… there was only ONE SPRITE LEFT!

Luigi got back holding one Sprite.

"Mario! This is the last one!" Luigi yelled and then started to drink it. Mario jumped up and charged at Luigi, but it was too late, Luigi had already started drinking it.

"NOOOOOOO!" Mario screamed and then started attacking. A battle had started on the roof between these two Sprite fanatics.

As they fought over the sprite, that Afro Sprite Doll thing from the advertisements jumped up and yelled. "GIMME MY FRESH CRISP LEMON LIME SPRITE BABY!… SHOW EM MY MOTTO!"

Sadly, as the Sprite Logo was talking, Mario launched a fireball at him, melting him to the floor.

"AHHH! I REALLY NEED THAT SPRITE NOW! I'M BURNING!" the logo screamed.

As the Sprite guy was dieing, Luigi grabbed Mario and flung him over the edge of the very very very tall building. Mario slapped into the ground in pain, but wasn't dead. Then an ambulance went to get him, but ran him over instead. Mario died.

"HAHAHA BROTHER! I WIN! YOU AREN'T THE BEST ONE AFTER ALL NOW ARE YOU!" Luigi screamed and started to take another drink.

Just before Luigi had taken a drink, Peach waked up to him and winked. Before he knew it, Luigi had given his Sprite to Peach. Realizing what he had done he pulled out a baseball bat and started beating Peach with it. Zelda had then walked by to witness the horrid scene. She gasped in horror.

"THAT'S MY SPRITE!" she yelled and turned into Sheik. She then flung ten needles expertly at Luigi, hitting only his hands and not the Sprite. Luigi dropped the Sprite and dueled Sheik. Sadly, Luigi could never hope to stand up to Sheik in a match, so he just pulled a gun and mowed her down instead. Amazingly, he did this while he still had ten needles stuck in his hands (he did it all for the Sprite).

It seemed that Luigi was going to be getting his Sprite now. But just as he was about to drink it, the melted logo jumped up onto his face and bit his eyes out. "HAHAHAHAHA! DIE!" the Sprite Logo screamed whilst chewing on the eyeballs of Luigi. Luigi died of an ear infection.

The Sprite Logo dude was the only one left now, and he was all alone with his sprite.

"YECH! THOSE EYES TASTED NASTY! SO I'LL JUST WASH IT DOWN WITH THAT FRESH CRISP LEMON LIME FLAVOR OF SPRITE!" the Logo said triumphantly. But there was a problem. The Sprite was larger than the logo, so the logo couldn't drink it. He sure tried though.

The Sprite Afro Logo thing sat and melted on to the floor… again… when Link walked in.

"Cool! A Sprite!" Link said and picked it up. Then Link left.

"NOOO! Don't leave me! All I wanted was the FRESH CRISP LEMON LIME FLAVOR OF A SPRITE!" cried the Sprite Afro Logo thing as the scene slowly faded away. Suddenly a hawk swooped down and carried the logo away to be fed to its young.

The camera went higher and higher to show just how much blood was shed in that building on that fateful day… barely any.

---------------------------------------

PART 2! COKE! (not the drugs you stupid person!)

Fox and Falco were hanging out in an alleyway being the cool people they were.

"BE REAL! OH YEAH BE YOURSELF!" they started singing some cheesy song that you never really cared about and then pulled out some Cokes.

The song was saying something about expressing yourself as Pikachu was frying Ash with his electric attack, he then stole Ash's Coke. The song then started to talk about freedom as Dr. Mario got jumped by Gannondorf outside of an alleyway and got his Coke stolen. Dr. Mario tried to fight back, but got punched and flew back into the building across the street.

Back to Fox and Falco. They were still hangin in the alleyway when Marth and Roy came up and joined in. They all sang along to the song.

"BE REAL! OH YEAH BE YOURSELF!"

It was talking about peace and love as Mr. G&W was break dancing on the sidewalk. Sadly, he fell through a crack in the ground and was never seen again. It started to talk about friendship as Jigglypuff and Kirby danced through a fountain of water. They were then launched up due to how light they were and how much pressure the water was giving. They were never seen again.

The whole SSBM crew was now here (with the obvious exceptions of Dr. Mario, Mr. G&W, Jigglypuff, and Kirby) and they were singing.

"BE REAL! OH YEAH BE YOURSELF!"

They were on the roof now, dancing and singing whilst drinking their Cokes. The roof couldn't hold their weight though, and so it collapsed, killing them all.

---------------------------------------

PART 3! SSBM ACTION FIGURES!

Ness, Popo, and Nana were all sitting by the table playing with their new SSBM ACTION FIGURES!

"I PULL OUT NESS WITH THE ABILITY TO SHOOT OUT PK CRAP FROM HIS BUTT!" Ness said as he bent the action figure over, pressed a button, and caused a little brown piece of plastic to hit the Ice Climbers' action figures.

"OH NO!" screamed the Ice Climbers in unison, then they moved THEIR action figures around.

"WE USE OUR TEAM ATTACK!" they screamed. As they said this they pressed buttons on the Eskimo figures and beat the Ness figure until it turned red.

"YAY!" everyone said.

Narrator: ARE YOU BORED! ARE YOU TOO STUPID TO JUST PLAY THE ACTUAL GAME! WELL THEN THE SSBM ACTION FIGURES ARE FOR YOU!

Gannondorf and Mewtwo were playing with their figures too.

"I USE MY DARK BLAST THINGYMABOB!" Mewtwo yelled in a creepy kids voice and pressed a button. A purple ball that was attached to the action figures hand launched about five inches.

"I DODGE AND USE MY DARK PUNCH THINGYMABOB!" Gannondorf yelled and pressed his own button. The figure's fist flew into Mewtwo's figure's face knocking it clean off.

"OH WOW!" they both screamed.

Narrator: THAT'S RIGHT! YOUR ACTION FIGURES CAN USE ALL THE MOVES THE GAME'S CHARACTERS CAN USE! AND MUCH MORE! PLUS YOUR FIGURES CAN GET BLOODY AND DECAPITATED!

"I USE MY SUCK ABILITY!" Kirby screamed pressing a button on his figure. Its mouth was already open, but a sucking noise came out.

"OH NO!" Captain Falcon screamed and threw his character into Kirby's figure's mouth. Its head was sucked off.

"IT'S FUN!" they both yelled.

Narrator: If you're a dip! And you want to play with these instead of the actual video game! Then call our number at 1-900-haha-dip!

All the characters were then holding their figures in this big crowded room. They raised their figures above their head.

"YES!" they screamed.

Then Kirby died because I said so.

---------------------------------------

PART 4! Something Mobile! (I know it was a phone commercial… but that's all)

Roy and Marth were just sitting there, minding their own business, when a flood of fan girls all came charging at them and started to tear Marth and Roy apart in their fan girl glory.

"Ah! Call Link! Get him to bring the little one and our swords so we can cut our way out of this!" Roy screamed dramatically, this caused some of the fan girls to faint and get crushed by the rest of the mob.

"I'm not calling! I'm roaming!" Marth replied with a muffled voice as girls were surrounding him.

Then Kirby popped up from out of the girls.

"Help us Kirby! Call for help!" Roy and Marth cried.

"I would! But it's daytime hours!" Kirby said and then tried to help his friends by eating all the fan girls he could.

Marth and Roy were getting carried away in a sea of fan girls… and four fan boys (EWW!) when DK appeared and started pounding away at the crowed, killing faceless nobodies.

"Please DK! Call for help!" the two screamed.

"Sorry! But calling now would cost a fortune!" DK screamed.

Some fan girls had turned on Kirby now, as his sucking power couldn't get them all.

"OH HE'S SOOOO CUTE!" they shrieked and ran towards him as he screamed in horror. Kirby thought about calling, but decided he would rather die then pay extra charges. Kirby was then popped by the crowed of fan girls. He died.

Young Link came into the room shooting his arrows, but the fan girls just turned on him too.

"WE NEED TO GET MASTER HAND! OR GANNONDORF! HE'S SO UGLY THE CROWD WOULD RUN!" Y. Link said.

Then the weird girl in the all white room was sitting there with Marth and Roy.

"Call anytime, anywhere, with no overages and no roaming charges" she said.

"Anytime?" Roy and Marth both asked, shocked.

"Anytime" she said grinning.

Then a fan girl came running at Marth, but he sliced her head off.

* * *

YAY!

Well everybody… I'm tired and I'm out of ideas for now… but I will update when I see an advertisement that's worth dissing…

And don't worry if I make fun of something you like, I make fun of things I like too. But insults are always fun!

Oh… and tell me if you see an advertisement you want here!

R&R! even if you don't know how to type… somehow figure out a way to review!

_So there you go… limited changes… only where the story REALLY needed it and stuff… I don't think it's something that should be banned… but knowing Fanfiction, I'm screwed._


	2. Part 5!

_You actually thought I wanted you to tell me new ideas? Oh well, I plan on doing one NEW advertisement for every 4 old ones, so at the end of each chapter you get a treat for being such loyal fans. But know that I am only asking you and telling you stuff through the italics_

**ADVERTISEMENTS SSBM STYLE!**

**PART 5:**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but sometimes I have dreams…

Reviews: wow! I got happiness from the people about this story… I got 3 reviews but when I clicked to see all of them only 2 popped out… hmmmmmm…

I had technical difficulties today and therefore updates will take awhile… ahh well… I didn't expect anyone to like this…: -)

* * *

PART 5! GEICO!

Popo and Nana were sitting there on a mountain having a good time when Nana slipped and fell to her bloody doom.

"OH NOOOO WHAT WILL I EVER DO!" Popo screamed in horror.

He called the rescue squad… Yoshi, DK, and Kirby.

"IT'S OK! WE'LL GET HIM OUT OF THERE!" DK yelled causing an avalanche to roll down the mountain where Nana had fallen. "umm… oops?"

They lowered a rope with DK on it, but DK was too heavy for them so DK ended up falling.

(Nana's POV) the snow had fallen on her and she was feeling numb when a big, brown, hairy thing fell right on top of her, breaking every bone in her body.

(Back to Popo) "IT'S OK SIR! I CAN FLOAT!" Kirby yelled and then started on his way down… the problem was that he got frozen into a solid and fell down at the others like a bowling ball.

"Sorry… it's too dangerous! But I do have some good news…" Yoshi started, but before he could finish he slipped and fell to _his_ doom.

"ahh man…" Popo said as a gecko ran up to him.

"ahh hello there… I happen to be a gecko and NOT a Geico… ahh yes…" the gecko said, but was soon frozen into an icicle.

"Ohh well… my girlfriend and all of those innocent people may have died… but the good thing is…" Just then Popo slipped on some ice and cracked his head open, then he fell to his doom.

(Nana's POV) Nana had somehow survived and her last words were… "I have some good news… I just…" but then Popo landed on her and killed her.

Part 6! Subway!

---------------------------

Bowser was a twig… he couldn't stand up due to the weight of his shell.

"I USED TO BE LIKE THIS!" a picture of a horrifically powerful and deadly Bowser popped up.

"It would always get in the way of my life! BUT NOW I TRIED SUBWAY!"

A before/after chart appeared showing Bowser's strong and powerful image right next to him not being able to get up because of the weight of his shell.

"And it's not just me who lost weight! THESE PEOPLE DID TOO!"

There was a picture of DK, the most powerful of all jungle creatures, and then there was a picture of a skinny and dieing DK trying to crawl to a banana.

A picture of Kirby showed up, then a huge Kirby with blobs upon blobs of fat showed up.

Kirby jumped on screen. "I LIKED SUBWAY SOOOO MUCH THAT I GAINED 300 POUNDS OFF IT!"

Bowser then shoved him out of the way, or at least tried. What ended up happening was Bowser getting launched into a corner somewhere. Screams could be heard as the camera went to the new scene.

"Whatever! Ignore the taste! You WILL lose weight! AND you could even get away with murder!"

Just then Bowser's legs collapsed under the weight of his shell and we could hear a strange cracking noise…

"Ohh… that's ok… I had sub…" Bowser died.

---------------------------

PART 7! ENERGIZER!

Dr. Mario was Operating on Luigi. "Alright! Just one more minute and I have this finished!" Just then the batteries to Luigi's life support systems ran out and Luigi died.

Nurse Peach was working on a sick patient and got all the way through the treatment…

A bunny walked by beating its drum, it keeps going and going and going and going…

Fox was about to defeat Andross once and for all when his ship stalled and then crashed, killing him.

Falco stayed in the battle though, and managed to kill Andross.

A bunny floated by beating its drum, it keeps going and going and going and going…

Roy and Marth were examining these strange "batteries" for the first time… they slashed them open getting battery acid all over the place and causing them to run around screaming in horror. As they ran they tripped over a bunny beating its drum… SMASH!

They were bloody and crying as screams were heard… but the bunny keeps going and going…

Kirby and Yoshi were in a pie-eating contest… Kirby's pie timer ran out of batteries, so Yoshi won by default… so Kirby turned over and ate Yoshi

A bunny walked by beating its drum, it keeps going and going and Kirby suddenly jumped out in front of it and ate the bunny, but the bunny then ripped out of Kirby's back causing Kirby to die of suffocation.

It keeps going and going and going and going and going and going and going…

Pikachu and Jigglypuff were in a Pokemon duel when the potion Pikachu was going to drink ran out of batteries (don't ask).

So Jigglypuff killed Pikachu with an extra special hard punch that went right through his gut. Ash laughed.

Then the bunny walked by beating its drum, it keeps going and going

Jigglypuff punched the bunny in her anger. It zapped her, killing her instantly. Ash laughed and started pissing on the twitching Pokemon when the electric shock traveled up his urine and killed him.

The bunny keeps going and going and going and going…

Samus and Captain Falcon were fighting on his racetrack. As Samus went to shoot C. Falcon with her cannon, it ran out of batteries. C. Falcon then used the batteries he had lodged in _his_ arm to use his Falcon Punch and kill her.

The bunny walked by beating its drum, it keeps going and going and going and going…

C. Falcon then ran up to hit the bunny when the batteries lodged in his arm poisoned him. He died.

The bunny keeps going and going and going and going

Just then the racecars sped by and ran the bunny over… all that was left was some zapping parts and the remains of an electric bunny.

---------------------------

PART 8! NINTENDO GAME VIXENS! (From Video Game Vixens on G4)

(Narrator has a "sexy" voice… Narrator has a "girls" voice… Narrator has a "voice")

Samus started walking around in her full outfit, she sat there in her fighter stance.

"Who has the smoothest skin?"

Samus slipped because her metal suit had been polished too smoothly. She struggled to get up, but just couldn't. She finally just gave up and sat there.

"Find out… on Nintendo Game Vixens!"

It showed Jigglypuff take a dive for a lake below. She started floating down. Waiting to reach the bottom. Any minute now… COME ON ALREADY! She still wasn't there…

She finally plopped into the water and started floating away. A shark then ate her.

"Nintendo Game Vixens… only on G4TV… hosted by C. Falcon, DK, Mr. Game and Watch… and even Zelda."

Link popped up. "ZELDA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON THIS SICK SHOW?"

"They paid me I swear!" she screamed as she looked around nervously.

"Be sure to watch each naughty episode with content so mild you'd probably rather go on the computer and look up porn that isn't as annoying and doesn't have nerdy freaks sitting there talking about it as you watch it… but this is still what we call naughty so you should watch it… ohh yeah…"

* * *

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHA

I have to say the Energizer one was my favorite one to do so far… it's better than the Sprite one even (which is one that I loved)!

Read and Review… and I will put 4 more advertisements on the list (the next 4 I think of OR that you give me will be on here)

And just to tell you guys, I do like some of the things I make fun of here. So don't be offended if I make fun of your stuff too…

_Yay…_

_And now for the new one I promised…_

* * *

PART X-1! NEXTEL!

Link walked up to Zelda holding his new Nextel cell phone thing.

"So, this has no overages or something like that right?" Link asked.

"How the hell would I know? I don't even work here!" Zelda responded.

"And there's free walkie talkie minutes?" Link asked again.

"I told you! I don't work here!" Zelda screamed.

"And I can get free ring tones? And there's some deal about getting a free phone and stuff?" Link said with joy.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! ASK SOMEONE THAT WORKS HERE!" Zelda said and then killed herself with her Tri-force piece.

"Kind of makes you want to jump up and down and scream for joy doesn't it?" Link said in a humorous way that made everyone that cares about him laugh…

No one laughed…

Link sat there in silence.

"We have a room for that right over here!" said Sheik (who was not Zelda and was a boy) winking at Link and dragging him into a closet. Screams could be heard.

"Shouldn't we help that guy out?" Luigi asked Mario who was just walking around the store.

"Nah, it's just the scream-for-joy room anyway" Mario said shrugging and leaving.

"OK then…" Luigi said following his brother.

Narrator: "Buy a new Nextel Walkie Talkie Cell Phone Thingamabob today! And get twenty-seven free honkeys with your order!"

Just then the KKK (Kiddy Kooky Klub) walked up and killed the narrator.

* * *

_YAY!_

_Well… that's my new advertisement… I'm pretty sure you'll hate it… also… we've got a new opening for anyone who wants to be my narrator… just PM me for the job…_


	3. Part 9!

_I like this stuff… Fanfiction deleted it though… And that is why I slit my wrists every day…_

**ADVERTISEMENTS SSBM STYLE!**

**PART 9:**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything… SO SHUT UP AND STOP LAUGHING AT ME!

Reviews: _censored because it has nothing to do with the current reviews…_

Wow… I said this would take a while but I never said it would take a LONG while now did I?

* * *

PART 9! OVALTINE (my spell check doesn't know how to spell it… so I don't either) 

Ness and Kirby were at a skating rink when Kirby suddenly screamed. "Man, I'm thirsty… I need something to drink!"

Ness turned over to Kirby. "HOW ABOUT SOME RICH CHOCOLATE OVALTINE?" he screamed in a voice so kiddy and happy that you'd probably puke if you had heard it.

Gannondorf and Mewtwo were skating by when they heard Ness scream this. "OVALTINE!" they screamed in a way that was almost _too_ happy and then started to follow the two kids.

"AHHHH! WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING! WE'RE BEING FOLLOWED!" Ness squealed.

"WE JUST WANT SOME RICH, CHOCOLATE OVALTINE!" they said together. "YAY!"

Samus and C. Falcon were running by when they heard this. "WE WANT RICH CHOCOLATE OVALTINE TOO!" they screamed and started chasing after the two kids.

Ness and Kirby were running away as fast as they could. "BACK OFF! GET YOUR OWN OVALTINE! ARG!" they screamed.

This continued until they had most of the SSBM crew following them.

When they reached the house Zelda and Y. Link came out to meet them. "WHO WANTS SOME RICH CHOCOLATE OVALTINE?" Y. Link screamed.

"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Everyone screamed.

"Mommy, we better make more!" Y. Link screamed happily.

Ness and Kirby ran inside as Zelda pulled Y. Link inside. "No honey, we need to call the cops and get rid of these freaks." Zelda said in fear.

So they called the cops. Fox and Falco came over as fast as they could.

"IS THAT RICH CHOCOLATE OVALTINE?" the two screamed and then helped the crowd outside break in.

"AHH! GET THEM AWAY!" Zelda screamed as the crazed crowd overran them.

Ness, Kirby, Y. Link, and Zelda were eaten alive by the crazed crowd, although we still don't know why.

------------------------

PART 10! EGGO!

Yoshi and Kirby were sitting in a room when Nana and Popo snuck into the kitchen to try and get some Eggo waffles… Kirby spotted them though.

"GET AWAY FROM MY EGGOS YOU FREAKS!" Kirby screamed and then ate Nana. He was about to eat Popo when Yoshi came from behind and ate him.

"Yum… Tastes like cherry!" Yoshi said and then went to eat Popo.

"ARG! GET AWAY! IT'S MY EGGO!" Popo screamed and started beating Yoshi to death with his hammer.

Link and Mario ran down the stairs to see what was going on when they witnessed this horrific event.

"You two stop what you're doing this instant!" Link screamed as the two stopped.

"Good! Now, why are you fighting?" Link asked as the two answered immediately. "EGGO!"

With this Popo starts beating Yoshi even more as Link chops Mario's head off (Mario was going for the Eggo and had to be stopped). Link then ran for the Eggo but Yoshi swallowed Popo's hammer and then ate Link.

Yoshi suddenly stopped, as he was about to get Popo. He started twitching as Kirby was sucking from the inside. Kirby pulled Yoshi inside out and jumped out. He then ate Popo.

Kirby was alone. He could finally get his Eggo waffles. But when Kirby got to the waffles, he realized they were gone.

(Up in Zelda's room)

Zelda and Peach had heard all the commotion downstairs over the Eggos, so Zelda snuck down as Sheik and stole the Eggo from them while they were busy.

They were sharing the Eggo when they got to the last Eggo. The two started screaming as Sheik then pulled her whip thing out and tied Peach to the chair.

"HAHAHAHA! THE LAST EGGO IS MINE!" Zelda screamed in joy… but then a noise could be heard from outside.

Kirby was outside, and he was sucking with all his strength. He kept sucking and sucking until the entire house flew into his body.

"HA! THAT'S RIGHT BIATCH! THE EGGOS ARE MINE!" Kirby screamed and then walked off.

------------------------

PART 11! PEOPLE PC!

A bunch of stick figures were throwing money into a bucket… Mr. G&W was throwing money into a bucket with them.

A woman started talking about saving money as one of the stick figures turned blue and looked over at nothingness, smiling…

"Beep?" Mr. G&W asked.

"Beep Boop!" a stick next to him answered before turning blue.

Everyone around Mr. G&W started turning blue and rushing forward to symbolize high speed. Mr. G&W was just sitting there confused when one of the speeding sticks slammed into him. They both fell over.

Mr. G&W then turned blue and started to choke. He reached out to one of the blue sticks for help, but the blue stick just thought he had been converted and rushed off smiling.

Mr. G&W just sat there dying and choking and started ringing his bell as he was twitching. He was silenced when another blue stick ran him over.

The narrator woman started to talk about the efficiency of People PC as Mr. G&W was lying on the floor, dying. He then turned red and just lay there… then he was run over by another blue stick figure. Mr. G&W died.

------------------------

PART 12! MCDONALDS!

Mario was sitting with Luigi outside of a McDonalds hanging out when a rapper, obviously white (in fact, probably whiter than ME), that couldn't sing so he just had to talk the lyrics, and wasn't even rhyming anything, started to 'sing'.

_Be in and be liked and have lots of fun._

_McDonalds all day and yeah that's cool._

_Be yourself, and be McDonalds._

_Be trendy and fun and happy and stuff._

Mario and Luigi started walking around and ran into Bowser… they were about to fight but decided to shake hands instead. Bowser was too strong and ended up breaking Mario's hand. Mario screamed.

_Don't have enemies, go to McDonalds instead._

_Yeah… and like it while you're there._

_Be yourself and make McDonalds your place._

_And be happy all day with your friends._

Mario and Luigi went with Bowser to McDonalds to buy some food. They saw Peach there. Mario went to go ask her out.

_Be yourself unless it's not liking McDonalds._

_And laugh with your friends about how much you like McDonalds._

_Don't try too hard just follow what we say._

_We will tell you what's cool and what isn't._

Peach slapped Mario when he went to talk to her and then kissed Zelda. Mario was shocked and fell over. Link fell over too. Then Mario started laughing like a psychopath and pulled a bomb out of his pocket blowing half of the store to pieces.

(Music stops)

"OH MY GOD! SOMEONE HELP!" Luigi screamed in horror.

Peach and Zelda didn't even notice, and were instead talking about little puppies.

The screen zooms out and becomes a big hamburger shape.

_BADABABABA! I'm loving it!_

It goes to the end where Zelda and Peach order a salad together at McDonalds. They choke to death on the salad as it is made out of plastic. (I used to always eat at McDonalds, but then they started obsessing with "OOOH SALADS! OOOHHH!" so now I never go there. Subway tastes better and it's got even more healthy food than McDonalds does. So yeah…)

* * *

YES! THAT'S RIGHT! I JUST SERIOUSLY ADVERTISED SUBWAY! SUBWAY PWNS MCDONALDS! 

Sorry if you like McDonalds better. I know they have some tasty stuff… but still…

R&G! Read and Go tell your friends! Oh, and you can review if you want to…

_And now for the NEW advertisement…

* * *

_

PART X-2! JOKES ON YOUR CELL PHONE

"HAHA! IT'S CRAZY!" the narrator screamed as Ness and Popo started jumping up and down in some random bathroom screaming with a mix of joy and WTF.

"ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TEXT THE MESSAGE 'ph33r t3h h4xx0rz' to the number 31337! That's ph33r t3h h4xx0rz to the number 31337!" the narrator screamed as Ness and Popo pulled out chainsaws and started cutting each other in half.

"GET THE FUNNIEST JOKES YOU'LL EVER WANT!" the narrator said in a goofy way as Ness's and Popo's heads started rolling on the floor bloodily with smiles on their face.

Just then Link walked up and texted the message to 31337. His cell-phone suddenly exploded, blowing his hand off. He then fell over as the chainsaws Popo and Ness were using rolled over to him and sliced him into many little bits.

"YAY!" Popo's head screamed as it then rolled off a cliff. Giggles and laughs could be heard from some unseen audience.

"Remember! ALL THE JOKES YOU EVER WANT CAN BE YOURS IF YOU JUST TEXT THE MESSAGE 'ph33r t3h h4xx0rz' TO THE NUMBER 31337!" the narrator screamed. Suddenly the sound of a virus, whatever the crud that is, could be heard as your computer started glitching out. Then the words 'ph33r t3h 31337' started appearing over and over on your screen and then your computer crashed.

* * *

_Ok then… it's over…_

_Remember to ph33r t3h h4xx0rz!_


	4. Part 13!

_I like this stuff… Fanfiction deleted it though… And that is why I slit my wrists every day…_

**ADVERTISEMENTS SSBM STYLE!**

**PART 13**

Disclaimer: I only own my happiness at this moment… cause I'm smarter than your average bean (and beans are freakin smart!)

Reviews: _fanfiction made me censor it!_

I AM LOVED! (Actually I can't do this at the moment… I'm bust being an idiot… on newgrounds)

* * *

PART 13! SKITTLES!

Samus and C. Falcon were flying in a space ship towards a new bounty when C. Falcon plopped a skittle into his mouth. Suddenly, skittles started raining down on his ship causing major damage.

"AHH! WE'RE GOING DOWN ON THAT PLANET!" Samus screamed as the ship flew down towards some random planet with flames trailing. Suddenly a skittle broke through the front window, causing her to almost get sucked out of the cockpit despite her best attempts to hold onto her seat.

Just then, C. Falcon (who couldn't hear due to the noises being made by the skittles) screamed out. "WHAT?"

More skittles rained down upon the poor ship causing one of its engines to blow out. The ship started going in circles.

"WAAAAA!" Samus screamed spinning around and getting sucked out into space.

"WHAT!" C. Falcon replied.

Mario, Peach, and Luigi were all sitting on a rainbow eating some skittles on the planet below. Mario suddenly burst out. "I don't believe"

The rainbow opened and Mario started to fall but then Samus came falling down and bumped Mario back onto the rainbow. Luigi and Peach looked at this and scooted over a bit. They started to slide down the curve of the rainbow, and, with no chance to get away, splattered into the ground below.

Then Mario sat on the Rainbow below until the ship C. Falcon was still in fell on top of him and ended up breaking the whole rainbow.

DK and Bowser were sitting there poking a skittle wondering what the shiny red thing did when broken pieces of the rainbow killed them.

The narrator suddenly screamed "HEAR THE RAINBOW! FEEL THE RAINBOW! BELIEVE THE RAINBOW! TASTE THE RAINBOW!"

Link suddenly walked up to a table with a lone, shiny, green skittle on top of it. He bent over and took a huge whiff. The skittle flew into one of his nostrils. Link gagged, stumbled around a little, and then fell over dead.

"SMELL THE RAINBOW! TASTE THE RAINBOW!" the narrator screamed.

--------------------

PART 14! STARBURST! (It's old, but I just had to) (_this seems better in present tense)_

Kirby sucks in a starburst and gets a stoned look on his face. He starts walking down the street looking all happy and creepy and stuff… even though King Dedede is chasing him with a hammer.

The whistle tune thing starts

Yoshi is having a REALLY hard time trying to lay an egg when Kirby passes. Yoshi eats a starburst, looks stoned, and starts following Kirby.

Peach is slapping Mario whilst screaming about some 'divorce' when Kirby and Yoshi pass by. He eats a starburst, looks stoned, and walks along with the others as Peach chases Mario screaming.

C. Falcon is getting arrested by a cop about having drugs that look oddly like starburst when the guys pass him by. He takes some drugs… I MEAN STARBURST… looks stoned, and walks along with the others as the cop calls for reinforcements about an escape druggie.

As they walk along they see Pikachu and Pichu. The two take the starburst, look stoned, look at each other, scream because they think they're hallucinating, and run off. As they run they get hit by the cop cars, which are racing towards the group.

Yoshi's egg plops out of him with a horrific crunchy noise as Yoshi falls over screaming.

Everyone else is walking along with the whistling when the cops run up and start beating C. Falcon to the ground.

Kirby and Mario are still walking along, looking stoned, when King Dedede finally catches up to Kirby and slaps him with a hammer. Kirby pops.

Mario keeps walking despite all the chaos around him when a volcano erupts right in his path. He walks into it without a care.

"AHHHHHH THE PAIN! THE HORRIFIC AGONY! MAKE IT STOP!" Mario screams falling over as he is covered in lava. Just then a car runs him over.

--------------------

PART 15! TACO BELL!

Kirby was sucking up houses and fat people and stores, but nothing could make him feel full. Fox and Falco were running around in the horror of things being eaten by Kirby when Fox suddenly got an idea.

"I KNOW! LET'S GO TO TACO BELL AND GET FULL!" Fox cried.

So they ran to Taco Bell and ate stuff and got full. Then they forgot all about Kirby.

As Kirby was walking around eating everything in sight, Yoshi ran up from behind and kicked him.

"HEY! You can just go to Taco Bell an…" Kirby ate him.

Samus and C. Falcon were flying by in a spaceship when they went to Taco Bell and got full.

"Wow that's so good!" Samus screamed.

Fox, who was sitting there, remembered Kirby and then got an idea.

Just then Kirby ran in and ate him.

"NOOOOOOO…" Falco started to scream dramatically but was then sucked up.

Kirby then turned on the Taco Bell where random SSBM characters were standing and feeling full. Kirby ended up eating the whole Taco Bell. He started to feel full.

"YAY! I'M FULL!" Kirby screamed. Sadly, as he had eaten hundreds more tacos then what is required to make someone full he started to bloat. He kept growing bigger and bigger and then popped, getting pink blobby stuff all over the place.

"EWW! C. Falcon how are we going to clean this up?" Samus asked as the viewed the horror.

"We don't have to. We're full!" C. Falcon answered.

"YAY!" They both screamed in joy.

They then tried seconds and fell over dead from becoming too full.

--------------------

PART 16! BLOCKBUSTER!

Gannondorf was standing outside of a Blockbuster.

"Yeah… life after late fees has been so cool… I can watch my shows… return them late just to say I did and be a rebel… I mean… because the return date is a hard date to memorize… yeah… and… it makes me feel free and stuff…" Gannondorf said to the camera.

It went to a different Blockbuster where Link was standing.

"I like to watch the same movie OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER and OVER until my family forces me to return the thing before they kill me. And now with the lack of late fees I can! AND I don't have to pay any extra money!"

It then went to Zelda.

"Screw you! I'm not turning this in! I'm going to keep this video forever!" Zelda screamed and started to run off. The camera turned around to see her running in the parking lot when a truck suddenly hit her.

It went to Y. Link.

"Ha! I can steal something from here and bring it back in a year and they wont do anything!" he shouted with joy… no… _glee_ sounds sexier…

"Actually, you can only keep it for a week extra… then the late fee applies again…" the cameraman said pointing to the VERY fine print that Joeb was bored enough to read whilst watching this advertisement.

"WHAT KIND OF LIE IS THIS? I THOUGHT YOU HAD KILLED LATE FEES!" Y. Link screamed.

"No… we only give you a week, then we say we get rid of the fee so when you come back really late we can get you with the fine print that nobody ever bothers to read. It isn't false advertising either as long as it's in the advertisement, which it is… it's just hard to see!" the cameraman explained with an odd enthusiasm.

"YOU GUYS SUCK!" Y. Link screamed and started running away when a truck hit him as well.

Words suddenly appeared on the screen in a bright flash while someone yelled them. The words said, "That's right! Try to never give them back and we'll hit you with a truck!"

Gannondorf walked into the store looking shady. He then pulled a gun and screamed.

"This is a stick up! I wan…" Just then a truck flew in through the wall and ran Gannondorf and ONLY Gannondorf over before pulling out.

* * *

Well… I would have done this earlier today… but I was on newgrounds… and playing GTA…

Oh well… sorry to anyone who has no life and so they live on this sight… I really am sorry and I will spank myself tonight to make up for it…

(Half of my life is all about this website… and I STILL suck at it!)

Its been a year… some say I've lost my touch… actually that's just me being paranoid because everyone that liked me showed their true colors and abandoned this site… Either way this is my next NEW advertisement…

* * *

PART X-3! VERIZON BUSINESS! (For convenience the narrator is in _italics_)

(Cue the dramatic music)

Marth, Roy, and Pit were all attempting to walk down a street at night while looking at the black sky dramatically. Sadly, because of this they didn't see the oncoming car. They were hit and all died of a CD related wound in the hair.

The two, best phone companies around have joined forces. Verizon and MCI have joined to make Verizon Business. Same Verizon, except now we've replaced those freaks working for MCI with our own guys. I mean, why else would we keep Verizon in there and delete MCI as if it was never even a company? These guys are screwed. That's fine though. Verizon is really cool and stuff. I might want to get back to the task at had.

Everyone was trying to look dramatic but failing and breaking their bones due to the lack of a serious narrator. Luckily he got back on track and people could continue to look in random directions.

We bring everything to your business.

Zero Suit Samus was walking down the streets of some Oriental city when she went to an ATM and pulled out thousands of Dollars for no apparent reason. She was immediately mugged from behind. When the ambulance got there they decided to let her die because she didn't have any money on her.

We let you look dramatic, knowing that you don't have anything to worry about when your life is placed in the hands of someone who dances for joy just because they got a new pencil.

C. Falcon was walking down a soccer field dramatically when some kids accidentally kicked a ball over to him. He immediately went and kicked it back to them. Sadly, he kicked it too hard and ended up killing the kids.

Wireless networking means you never have to bother smelling that nasty guy who always comes to the meetings.

Bowser was on a screen as everyone else was at the meeting. People were putting up nasty signs all over Bowser's monitor and making fun of him, as he couldn't do anything about it. Suddenly there was a malfunction in the network and the screen exploded, killing everyone inside of the meeting.

So join Verizon Business today, and learn what it's like to be handled by professionals.

Everyone was standing there looking around at random computer terminals with smiles on their face when they all looked up at the camera at once and gave a reassuring grin. This changed to a horrified look as they realized that girls gone wild cameramen instead of the normal Verizon cameramen were filming them. The girls in the room all took out explosives in their anger and blew the entire studio into France, where it was converted into a gay center.

* * *

_Well wasn't that an interesting ending… I didn't come up with it though… voice number seventeen was the one responsible for that… so if you have any complaints please go cry to your mommy first… seriously… yo mama's so wise… she knows stuff… and stuff…_

_Whatever just don't review… whatever you do. I'm begging you not to!_


	5. Part 17!

_Ahh how wonderful… this was done when razzkat was razzkat pka ebob… this was when I had lightpaladin review me… and Knuckles Spyro Fox Link Zidane blah blah blah… it would be very touching… but I have a sunburn and so whenever I try to be touched it just stings and I end up swearing… oh well… at least I tried…_

**ADVERTISEMENTS SSBM STYLE!**

**PART 17!**

Disclaimer: I don't own anything… sometimes someone else even gave me the advertisement to diss!

Reviews: _fanfiction made me censor it!_

I will give a gold star to anyone that does a back flip!

* * *

PART 17! STARBUCKS!

Gannondorf woke up and went to the fridge for a Starbucks coffee. Once he started to drink it a giant crowd appeared in his house.

(That song from the commercials where they all scream HANK over and over… except they say Gannondorf in Hank's place)

Gannondorf turns around to see every Smash Brother in his house.

"GANNONDORF!"

"What the hell… GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Gannondorf screamed.

"GANNONDORF!"

Gannondorf tried to call the police, but the crowd was blocking his way to the phone. So he ran out of the house to get to his car. Suddenly the entire crowd was outside with him.

"GANNONDORF!"

"How did you get here so fast?" Gannondorf screamed in confusion.

"GANNONDORF!"

"What do you want from me!" Gannondorf cried.

"GANNONDORF!"

Gannondorf ran past them and dove into his car. He drove off. He decided to turn the radio on to calm his nerves. He turned it on.

"GANNONDORF!" the radio blared.

Gannondorf immediately turned the radio off… freaked out.

He then drove past a bunch of benches that had been set up as if it was at a football game.

"GANNONDORF!"

He sped up and got to the parking lot at his work.

"GANNONDORF!" Everyone yelled as they were in his parking space.

Now Gannondorf was extremely scared. He took out his gun and started killing people in the crowd.

"GANNONDORF!" The remaining Smashers screamed.

Gannondorf was out of all his bullets but one… he looked down to his gun with a horrified look. He then pointed the gun at his head. Bang.

"GANNONDORF!"

"GANNONDORF!"

"GANNONDORF!"

The crowd continued to cheer until the cops came to investigate a death. The crowds constant cheering annoyed them and so they shot the rest of the Smashers.

-----------------------

PART 18! SSBM, THE MOVIE!

Narrator: "There was a time, when people could live their daily lives!"

Captain Falcon, who looked a lot like Tom Cruise, stepped out of his car and looked around.

Narrator: "There was a time, when murder was a scary and rare event!"

Captain Falcon walked forward and saw a bunch of pink gooey stuff all over the floor.

The screen went black as flashy lights went everywhere. The words SSBM REVOLUTIONARY pop onto the screen in bold, bright, slightly sexy letters.

Narrator: "SSBM REVOLUTIONARY! Starring Tom Cruise!"

Captain Falcon looked at the screen grinning. Then he went back to his work. He began to study the pink goo that was splattered on the ground.

"I think it was Kirby, he must have been pushed from that tall building up there!" Captain Falcon said pointing up in a moment of brilliance.

Kirby then walked up to Captain Falcon. "Actually, no. I float so it would be impossible for me to die that way. I DID poo over here yesterday though!" he said thoughtfully.

"You can poo?" Captain Falcon asked with a disturbed voice. He then looked around nervously and stabbed Kirby, popping him. He then walked around the crime scene and spread the pink chunks of ex-Kirby to random places.

"See! Kirby fell off of that building!" Captain Falcon screamed pointing up at the said building.

"There isn't even a building anywhere NEAR here. We're in the middle of nowhere!" Fox said walking by.

Captain Falcon looked around, stabbed Fox, and hid his body in a trashcan.

"DUDE! That's EVIL!" Ness said walking up and pointing at Captain Falcon.

"Shut up! You're white! You can't be trusted! The only people that can be trusted are minorities and ME!" Captain Falcon screamed and then stabbed Ness because he was white.

Narrator: "See it in theatres! Coming November 23, 2006! To theatres near you!"

-----------------------

PART 19! OFF!

Peach was sitting in a chair during a yard sale. Zelda walked by and started complaining about the mosquitoes. She wasn't even at the yard sale. She was sitting by a hidden part of the house planning on breaking in and stealing some stuff.

"Oh, come back here! It's fine!" Peach said waiving to Zelda.

"Oh… ummm… sure…" Zelda said walked forward to Peach when she then noticed a bunch of mosquito repelling stuff. "Can I have this for free?" she asked.

"Take all of them if you want." Peach answered.

"Really… how about this!" Zelda asked taking another thing from the pile of stuff in the yard sale.

"Take it all if you want! It's not like I'm trying to make any money…" Peach answered.

"Can I go into your house?" Zelda asked.

"Sure, go ahead… what do I care" Peach replied.

Zelda walked into Peach's house and started stealing things and putting them in her bag. She walked outside again and noticed something in front of Peach.

"What about that?" Zelda asked.

Peach slapped Zelda and pushed her away. "HELL NO! THIS IS MINE!" she screamed.

"Whatever…" Zelda said and started stealing more things.

"What do you think you're doing?" Mario screamed running up to Zelda as she stole their TV.

"Peach said everything's free… ohh… you look cute you 3 ft tall sexy little thing!" Zelda said and picked Mario up and stuffed him in her bag. She then left after taking everything from Peach's house that was of value.

Luigi ran outside to Peach. "PEACH! ZELDA STOLE EVERYTHING OF VALUE IN THE CASTLE!"

"Oh well. At least I still have this weird mosquito repellent stuff!" Peach said. Just then a mosquito flew by and bit her. Peach fell over screaming her head off. Her head came off. Peach died.

Narrator: "OFF! Keep bugs off! Mostly…"

-----------------------

PART 20! PETCO!

Fox, Falco, and Mewtwo are workers at Petco.

Fox is playing tug-o-war with a dog; they're both using their mouths.

Falco is chirping with the birds.

Fox starts to sniff the dogs butt.

Falco flaps his wings and starts squawking really loudly, scaring the customers away from that part of the store.

Fox growls at Link and starts tearing away at the poor hero's leg. Fox rips it off and buries it somewhere as Link dies of blood loss.

Falco starts eating birdseed as Fox starts eating dog food.

Mewtwo is meowing as he starts playing with yarn with a cat and then eats some catnip.

Ness walks up to Fox.

"Is this dog food good for the dog?" Ness asks.

"I sure loved it!" Fox said in response.

Ness stared at Fox for a while. Fox stared back.

They both stared.

Fox started sniffing Ness's butt.

Ness ran away screaming. He then impaled himself on a cat accidentally (don't ask).

Mewtwo looked at what had just happened, screamed, and ran to save the kitty. In the process of rescuing the cat he was forced to kill Ness, but that's no big deal, he's only a _human_.

Y. Link walked up to Falco.

"Are these birds friendly?" Y. Link asked.

"They sure were friendly to me!" Falco replied with a wink.

Y. Link stared at Falco.

Falco stared at Y. Link.

They sat there staring.

Falco started squawking loudly as Y. Link ran away screaming. When he impaled himself on a cat too.

Mewtwo looked over at the scene, went to Y. Link, and pulled the cat out, safely killing Y. Link.

Narrator: "Petco! We care more about our pets than your life! Petco, where the pets go!"

* * *

YAY! I'M FINISHED JUST IN TIME!

Oh and so you know… I might be gone for a bit and have no chance to update… I will update as soon as possible though!

_Yeah… that might have been when I had to leave for a stupid vacation my parents wanted me to go on for a week… not like it matters anymore… TIME FOR THE NEW ONE!

* * *

_

PART X-3! VAULT! (I can't do the burger king commercial yet… we'll leave it at that)

Popo was walking through the yard when he noticed that the bushes and trees and crap like that hadn't been pruned in a while, and the grass was either too long or dying. Just then he took a sip of Vault.

"You can do better than this! This is pathetic! Other people are looking at your lawn, and what do you have to show them! GET TO WORK!" The voice in Popo screamed as he put his hands on his head and started rolling on the ground, screaming.

"Oh no! The voices are getting to him again! I better call the police!" Nana cried and ran to the phone.

Popo was outside in pain when the voice came back.

"WHAT ARE YOU ROLLING ON THE GROUND FOR? YOU GET BACK UP AND YOU MAKE THIS YARD BETTER THAN EVER!" The voice yelled in Popo's mind. "Start with the lawn, what kind of watering does this grass get? YOU KEEP THIS YARD ALIVE! Use dead babies as fertilizer if you have to, just do it!"

Popo got up and started walking towards a baby playing on the sidewalk close by. He picked the baby up and began strangling it until it stopped making any noise. He repeated until he had enough children. He dragged them into his garage and came out with some red, chunky fluid in a bottle. Then he started spreading it all over the lawn.

This kind of thing continued in a big montage as Popo took drinks of Vault constantly until the yard was almost perfect.

"Why stop now? THIS LAWN IS PERFECT AND YOU DON'T LET KIDS CUT ACROSS IT!" the voice yelled.

Popo started setting up traps across his lawn. A kid walked by and fell into a pit of rusty spoons. Screams weren't heard because the pit was ONE BAZILLION JILLION miles deep.

As Popo began to work more on the yard the cops came by and tackled him. Nana came out crying, as Popo struggled against the police.

"Popo! It's OK! We're just trying to help!" she cried as he was then dragged into the car and hauled away.

* * *

_Guess what. Some people hate me because they think I just think I'm better than everyone. That's what SOME people think not what EVERYONE thinks… but those SOME people only say what they do because they secretly know I'm better than them and so they feel threatened._

_I'm going to be home alone for the next 3 years. I'm scared that I might get molested._


	6. Part 21!

_Damn… it isn't so fun to update this story because I've already done it once… and that pisses me off because fanfiction deleted this without warning me… so I couldn't do anything about it…_

**ADVERTISEMENTS SSBM STYLE!**

**PART 21!**

Disclaimer: I don't own jack… whoever that is… I don't own any companies and products and all that shimeramor… I don't own SSBM or any of that… BLAAAA!

Reviews: _censored due to irrelevance._

OTHER CRAP: Well I'm finally BACK from my FAMILY REUNION! "Ooh look he's grown soo much!" well well well… apparently I grew 7 ft. since the last time they saw me… AND I'M ONLY 6 FT TALL! Oh well… the computer there had filters so I couldn't come here… it's an adult website… O.o REALLY! I WANNA SEE THE ADULT SECTION!

Ooh well… I'm here now so I'm gonna do the adds now… 5 gold stars to whoever guesses what country I hail from (do my ancestors come from England or Italy or where?)

* * *

PART 21! WENDY'S!

Mewtwo and Gannondorf are out late at 1:00 AM… doing drugs…

"Ooh man, all these drugs are making me hungry…" Mewtwo said.

"Alright, but where are we gonna eat at this time of night?" Gannondorf asked.

"Ooh… I hear Wendy's is open late now! CAN WE GO CAN WE GO! PLEASE!" Mewtwo asked.

"Meh, OK" Gannondorf said.

So the two started to head off to Wendy's when a bunch of gangstas came up behind them and started beating them down for their shoes. Mewtwo doesn't wear shoes so the gangstas just shrugged and ripped off his feet instead.

" Ohhh Wendy's…" Mewtwo groaned. "I can't get to you at night but at least I know you're open!"

The gangstas started prancing about in the street, throwing gang signs and looking tough.

They got hit by a car.

(Inside the car)

"Who wants Wendy's?" Zelda asked with a wink and a grin.

"Ooh! OHHH! MEEEE! I DO!" Y. Link and Ness cried as they started bouncing up and down happily in the back of the car.

The car went over a bump sending Ness's head slamming into the roof. Puss went flying everywhere as he screamed and died in pain.

"OHHH! MOMMY! CAN I HAVE HIS SHARE OF FOOD?" Ness asked hopefully.

"What the hell!" Y. Link screamed, gutting Ness with his sword and throwing him out the window.

"Sure honey… now I have to have time to think about why I was stupid enough to go out to get you fast food this late at night." Zelda said.

"Isn't it because Link kicked us out of the house?" Y. Link asked.

"NO! OF COURSE NOT! NOTHING HAPPENED! I DON'T HAVE A CLUE WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!" Zelda screamed as they pulled up to the drive through window.

"What do you want?" Roy, the fast food dude, asked.

"I'll have a…" Zelda started.

"NO NOT YOU! I'M BEING ROBBED! SOMEBODY HELP!" Roy screamed as gunshots were heard.

"Give me all your money!" Captain Falcon screamed.

Roy's dead body lay there with no response.

"I said… GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONEY!" Captain Falcon screamed again even louder.

"He's dead you moron…" Fox said as he then went to the back and started getting money.

(Back inside the car)

"Where are you going mommy?" Y. Link asked as Zelda got out of the car.

"I'm going to go get our NOW FREE FOOD!" Zelda said.

As she left and went into the restaurant, Samus ran up and stole the car, throwing Y. Link out the window as she sped off.

-----------------------

PART 22! SWIFFER!

Fox, Samus, Ness, and Kirby were sitting there watching Falco throw random stuff on the ground.

"Ok… now for some CDs…" Falco said as he crunched up Kirby's CDs and threw them down to the ground.

"HEY! THAT WAS MY FAVOURITE CD!" Kirby whined.

"Ohhh… and now some dog hair…" Falco said pulling a patch of fur off of Fox's back.

"OW!" Fox screamed.

"And this will do…" Falco took Ness's bat and cracked it in half, getting splinters all over the floor.

"Hey! That was a rare bat!" Ness screamed.

As he reached for Samus she just lifted her arm-cannon and aimed it right in his face.

"That's a good idea…" Falco said as he took her cannon and broke it, spilling plasma all over the floor.

"That's it!" everyone yelled as they screamed and brutally beat Falco to death.

Cameraman guy: uhhh… we need him to finish the commercial…

"No! What we need is someone to clean up this mess!" Samus said. "And I've got this new Swiffer vac! IT WILL WORK!"

"Seriously… why do you need a vacuum when you have me?" Kirby asked. "I'll handle this…"

so Kirby sucked a big blackened glob of the mess up… there was a long pause…

Kirby fell over, turning blue.

"See! You need the Swiffer!" Samus said and started vacuuming up… then picked it up and looked away from ANYONE who could possibly relate to the scene.

"Can anyone say breakfast, lunch, and dog hair?" she asked with a creepy grin on her face.

"Umm… Samus… who are you talking to?" Ness asked.

"SHUT UP!" Samus screamed and beat Ness to death with the Swiffer vac.

Narrator: "THE SWIFFER VAC! PICKS UP ANY MESS! NO NEED TO CLEAN IT! AND IT MAKES A GOOD WEAPON!"

Then Fox and Samus started fighting over who got the chance to keep the Swiffer. Fox eventually pulled his gun and shot Samus in the eye, he then started beating her corpse with the Swiffer vac.

-----------------------

PART 23! ITT TECH!

Marth was sitting, starring into the camera… talking…

"I used to rely on looks to get me through the day…" Marth said.

The scene went to Marth trying to get into a club with DK as the bouncer. He looked around and started rubbing up against DK. DK screamed and slapped Marth as hard as he could, sending him flying.

"That didn't always work… so I decided to go to ITT Tech as a computer designer…" Marth said going on in the same monotone voice.

It flashed to a scene where Marth fencing with Roy.

"I've never felt better… My mom is actually thinking about actually admitting we're related!"

It flashed to a scene of Marth playing chess with Zelda.

"I do a job that I love…"

It flashed to Marth fencing with Roy again.

"I get a great sense of pride from what I do…"

It flashed to Marth jumping out of a plane… he then realized that he didn't have a parachute with him.

"AHHHH!" Marth screamed as the then splattered into the ground.

-----------------------

PART 24! TARGET!

(A song nobody cares about is going on in the background)

Yoshi was roaming around in random positions on a red tinted screen.

Fox was toying around with his gun on a red tinted screen.

C. Falcon started boxing with nothingness on a red tinted screen.

Roy and Marth were messing around with their swords on a red tinted screen.

Ness was moving objects with his mind on a red tinted screen.

Y. Link started lighting bombs, but as he went to throw it, it exploded in his hands and he splattered into the red tinted screen, increasing the shade of red.

Zelda did her transforming thing but messed up and a bloodstain appeared instead of Sheik on a dark red tinted screen.

Kirby started to suck something towards him but it was a knife and it hit him and he fell over on a dark red tinted screen with reddish ooze going down it.

Mr. G&W was ringing a bell driving DK insane so he pounded Mr. G&W's head, but because Mr. G&W's head was 2-D DK's hand went right through and got sliced in half. DK screamed and slammed Mr. G&W with a head-butt, the same thing happened though. DK fell over dead on a dark red tinted screen with reddish ooze going down it and nearly soaking the whole camera, making it almost impossible to see.

Falco was messing around with his gun when it discharged and a scream was heard. The screen moved over and a dead Pichu was lying there.

Yoshi stuck his tongue out and it got stuck to the screen. Y. Link then went flying by, ripping the tongue in half on a dark red tinted screen with reddish ooze going down it nearly soaking the whole camera making it almost impossible to see with a chunk of tongue stuck on it.

Fox was toying with his gun when he shot himself.

C. Falcon accidentally hit Bowser while he was boxing nothing. Bowser in turn fried him with his flame breath.

Roy and Marth continued to mess around with their swords when they 'accidentally' get each other at the exact same time… the screen is almost pure red now.

Ness is still moving objects when he slips and a piano falls on him.

Pikachu and Jigglypuff are hanging out when a bolt of lightning suddenly hits Pikachu causing him to fall over, and Jigglypuff to explode. You can no longer see through the screen.

A target appears and under it says "Target"

An arrow flies into a target.

The screen moves to reveal Link with a bow. "What?" he asked. Blood began seeping through the target as Mewtwo's dead corpse fell down, ripping the piece of paper with the target painted on it down.

"So that's who was behind it all!" Link said with amazement.

* * *

Wow… it feels like that last little break was good for me! Not really… I hated it the whole time and was begging to come home so I could update and read and whatnot… oh well… I'm finished now…

THE FUNNY LIST! (_censored because I'm a lazy person_)

R&STD… Read and Say Trinket Death!

_No new advertisements… I'm sick of this story… It's been a year and I ALREADY FINISHED IT AND FANFICTION IS EVIL! RAWR! Besides… this chapter was hilarious enough as it is…_)


End file.
